When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I need to align my fucking chakras
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
