This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
