i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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