This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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