Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
