she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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