Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
