Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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