She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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