Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
