If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
