it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
