My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
