Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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