dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize