I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
