I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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