i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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