I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
