Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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