Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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