So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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