We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
