she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
