I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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