Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
