Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Small penises have feelings too.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
worst night to have a conscience
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
