So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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