Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize