So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
