unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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