I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
