That's intense
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
