how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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