This dress was meant to end up on your floor
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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