You did not just play the dead husband card again.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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