I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
