I think I am morally bankrupt
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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