i jhust puked up my retainher.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.