Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.