Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
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You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service