Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  i want you now

  (916): View more from California

  you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this

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  (212): i want you now (916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this http://tfl.nu/8egt
  Replies (148) Good night (6881) Bad night (69192)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"

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  (610): my new favorite insult= "thundercunt" http://tfl.nu/7c82
  Replies (48) Good night (4052) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.

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  (618): for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed. http://tfl.nu/1nkf
  Replies (16) Good night (2928) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.

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  (925): You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar. http://tfl.nu/e1r5
  Replies (7) Good night (468) Bad night (2010) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.

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  (708): Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud. http://tfl.nu/swnn
  Replies (15) Good night (4293) Bad night (1383) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice

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  (931): please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice http://tfl.nu/enb2
  Replies (7) Good night (2820) Bad night (741) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR

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  (918): Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR http://tfl.nu/fkjm
  Replies (22) Good night (4318) Bad night (1110) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.

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  (605): Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs. http://tfl.nu/6a2k
  Replies (13) Good night (1940) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here

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  (850): Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here http://tfl.nu/668w
  Replies (9) Good night (572) Bad night (1505) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.

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  (360): corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me. http://tfl.nu/hdp7
  Replies (3) Good night (873) Bad night (1218) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms

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  (781): Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms http://tfl.nu/wx24
  Replies (10) Good night (1107) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.

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  (307): he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back. http://tfl.nu/n0f2
  Replies (21) Good night (491) Bad night (1808)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.

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  (631): He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims. http://tfl.nu/mqeu
  Replies (16) Good night (2233) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm in love.

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  (630): She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot. (630): I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/l0w2
  Replies (3) Good night (1201) Bad night (196)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.

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  (248): I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body. http://tfl.nu/nnda
  Replies (2) Good night (616) Bad night (171) Order T-Shirt

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