You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.