I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize