bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
