she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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