i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
