Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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