You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize