Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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