This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
