you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
