hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
