Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
