there's paper in my vomit.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
