I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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