If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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