Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
