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Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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