You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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