So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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