OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
