I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
