My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory