It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating