and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!