He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.