There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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