and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
false alarm, still single
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
