just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
